About Awendan

Enter Conetera the assassin)

A new face in the guild has caught my attention, Conetera. Under the cover of a hunter he has made no effort to hide he is an assassin from our guild mates. His mention of it while talking to the others perked my ears. I was most forward in asking to speak to him privately, but I could not pass up the opportunity to gain training from him. I am honored that he was very receptive to my interest. He shared many things about his own training some of them horrible and frightening. He also helped me see that I am not alone in the pleasure I feel in killing another and that it is an assassin way to relish his work. That there is no shame in wanting to prolong our target's pain four our own enjoyment. This is our work and I am an assassin. We have spent much time together and I have come to trust Conetera with my life. I trust him more than I do Alistor. I know Conetera would never betray me. I hope that he knows the same is true of me.

I have enjoyed several days of training with Conetera. He is kind and very generous and all too serious. Of course our work is a serious thing and the final trial's difficult one. I see greatness in his kills. He is so very skilled. I am honored to be under his tutelage.
The joining of my soul halves is an ongoing process, as Barek explained it. With Grolagar’s soul inside at the time of the ritual the process has slowed almost to a halt as he battles to keep Endryel from Awendan. Though the two halves of soul did have some chance to join, Grolagar has entrenched himself between us. Awendan remains a separate, self-aware entity. Grolagar’s soul battles constantly to break free. His hate and wrath are unbearable at times. It is fortunate that Awendan remains and grows stronger each day. As two entities we have been able to hold him at bay, yet not excise him. But as we join more and more he gains ground too. He is stronger than us, yet he battles in my stronghold and thus I hold the advantage. Let us hope he does not make himself too comfortable.
There was a strange occurrence today. I was cleaning out my travel pack and lost time or became unaware. The same way I used to when Awendan's form took my body. I am aware at all times during those periods now. I can only conclude that Grolagar has found a way to take over me. More disconcerting, however, were the looks on Alistor's and some of the other warden's faces when I regained my awareness. They were disgusted! How horrid this has been and now for my fellows to find me a burden is almost too much to bear! Alistor confronted me, like the child he still sees me as, and accused me of hiding something in my pack. None was more surprised than I to find a locket I do not remember acquiring and that I could not touch. Where did it come from? Did Grolagar get it? And what is he up to?

Trial begins (As (told by Awendan)
Conetera has begun the final trial...in hopes that we, Awendan and I will have the strength to expel Grolagar. There are no expectations of defeating him...merely sending his soul fragment from me. The training is designed to help fragment parts of a person...to be able to withstand enormous pain and hardship without any effect. In my case the fragments are being brought together and the trial is so extreme that we will either emerge whole and stronger or we will be destroyed. Cone and I have decided that it would be better that he and I alone do this trial...I do not wish to burden the others any further. Conetera spoke to Barek and asked for his assistance, but Barek's mistrust of Elves and the trial it self made him refuse. I understand this and feel no resentment toward him. The initial phase of the trial consisted of a mind blend with Cone. In the silence of our mental union a child came to me. His name Krat'zul He called me Awendy his child innocence seemingly so pure. He wore a mask covering half his face. He removed it to reveal his a gaping hole where his cheek should have covered his teeth. What did this to this sweet boy? He told me was my guide in the mental preparation of what I am to endure. He took me to a time in the past in a horrid dark dungeon room where people were shackled and showing signs of severe torture. He himself was tied to a table in the middle of the room. His master and other large men inflicted horrible torture upon his body. I (Awendan) had to struggle to overcome my fear and desperation. Endryel became excited and almost aroused by the scene. I was frightened by her viciousness. Where has this grown in her? Or is it Grolagar manipulating her? To my surprise the men where aware of my presence am not certain how that is possible in a memory. In his agony Kra'Tzul turned to me and begged me to help him and I promised I would, though I do not know how that would even be possible.

Cone and Krat'zul are one in the same. Each a fragment of one soul much like Endryel and me. After the mind blend ceased Cone and I sat looking into each other's eyes. A bond created between us as we had shared a very traumatic moment.

Trial ends (As told by Awendan)

The second and final part of the trial took part today. It was a cool misty morning in the hills near Astranaar. The house where we met was dim and cool as it is open to the outside. I looked on Cone and felt a deep bond between us. I know he will guide me right. I know he will make things well once more. Once again Cone and I sat across from each other and entered a deep meditative state. He then asked one last time if I was sure of this and I could not have been surer of anything. He nodded his agreement and placed his headband over his eyes and his hand over my head covering my eyes. The mental link between us formed and we stood in that fetid dungeon once more. The child Krat'zul was in the room dancing around as if pleased with the scene. The boy seemed oddly happy for such horror. As the room materialized more clearly I saw Alistor on the torture table, beaten and bloody. Nyna, Barek, Arekan and Cone all shackled to the walls. All of them beaten, broken and in pain. It took every shred of strength I have to keep from screaming. This time Krat'zul was the voice of accusation. He told me that those I care for were there because of my failure. My failure to fight Grolagar and to keep him from invading me. My anger rose to new heights, my control wavered, but I stood fast clinging to the hope of success. Then, as he continued to taunt me I felt a surge of hate and anger that overwhelmed me. I realized that he was only the image of the boy lunged for him and took him by the throat. I intended to kill him. Then he dared me to kill him, dared me to follow the path of the shadow. In that instant my mind became clear and at peace. I realized that my love was the only thing that could save us all. My love for Krat’zul, for Alistor my dearest mentor, for Nyna the child of innocence, for Barek the one who teeters with darkness, Arekan the one who wants to heal the world, Conetera the broken man and child. For my self and for Endryel also falling into darkness. I love all of them and in that moment I took the child into my arms and let the light of love heal us. He fought me briefly, but the love was all encompassing. The dungeon and all in it faded as I broke my bonds and Krat’zul and I stood in a meadow by a lake. He pointed to the lake urging me to go and look at my own reflection in the water. As I looked I saw myself and Endryel separate into two entities both Draenai as she was born. Our appearance masked as Night Elves only a surface glamour. And the soul of Grolagar rose from us, not longer bound. He was pulled violently toward the locket that Alistor found in my pack. I believe he is trapped there even now.

As the trial ended the boy Krat’zul began fading and his last words were: Awendan I love you too.

Cone and I awoke from the link to look upon one another. Me as Awendan alone, no longer bound to Endryel.